Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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