in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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