Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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