Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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