so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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