I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
