I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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