Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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