you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
