i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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