def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
