My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
