Im at strip club and am horny
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This house was built for laser tag.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
