he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
