He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
