Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
