My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
