a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
