You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
