it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
