People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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