i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
