Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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