All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
