dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
tell me about the eggs
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
