so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
