Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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