dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
