If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
