Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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