I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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