It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
