so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
