don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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