"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My bed smells like the plague
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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