I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
