are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
