So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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