you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You need Xanax blowdarts
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
