nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
