Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
