Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
