Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
God, I missed his penis.
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