im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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