I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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