I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
