does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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