I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
