Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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