i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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