Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
