so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
