atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
