i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
