ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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