If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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