VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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