Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
