Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
